Five startups for Apple's beauty score

Investors, my DMs are open.

This week Apple launched a lot of new things. It’s very easy to latch on to the AI announcements, but at the bottom of the list they managed to develop a groundbreaking algorithm: take a picture and give it a score for how beautiful it is.

It turns out they lied to us our whole lives about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Now it can be scientifically proven that the painting hanging in your pretentious art-loving friend’s living room is absolutely ugly.

So in honor of the new API, I thought of a few products that could be built around it:

1. A camera app for men that won’t let you exit until the photo is above a certain threshold. It solves the problem where they ask you to take a picture and then it’s “wait wait, again, I didn’t come out nice”. From now on you can say “babe, I gave you two 82s and an 89, leave me alone”.

2. An app that automatically detects fake compliments on photos of the nephews in the family group and responds: “Yahli can’t possibly be gorgeous, this picture is a 40 at most”.

3. An app that detects too big a gap between the original photo and the one you’re trying to upload to Instagram, and warns you that you overdid the filters: “According to the app you’re trying to upload a 90, even though according to face recognition you’re a 65 on a good day, please remove”.

4. An app that helps you choose the best Tinder photo. It could really help with men who upload a picture with a headset and a microphone.

5. An app that connects to the work WhatsApp group, and every time someone posts a baby photo, gives you the appropriate politically correct response: “The system detected a baby with a score of 17, which corresponds to ‘very clearly a baby, mazel tov’”. You could easily upsell through a partnership with the app from item 2.

This post started as a LinkedIn post.